Jake's House
by shyesplease
Summary: Jake wants Miley to come to see his house, and also meet his parents, but it's not what Miley expects...ONE-SHOT! NOT a JILEY! Disclaimer: I do NOT own Hannah Montana! R&R! :D


_**Note that this is just to poke fun at the character Jake Ryan and how he can be very self-centered, and egoistic. Things are over exaggerated (hopefully) from what it might actually be on the show. I'm not one who enjoys the character Jake Ryan, but this is all done for humor.**_

_**This is pre-breakup also.**_

_**My sister and I were talking about what it would be like to see Jake's house and parents, and we were bouncing off ideas, and I came up with this…**_

**Jake's House**

"Miley," Jake said, taking Miley by the hands, looking at her softly with his green eyes, which made Miley want to melt. "I've been to your house a million times, and I've seen your dad a lot too. So, why don't you come over to my house and meet my parents!"

"Y-your parents?" Miley stuttered. She suddenly felt a lump form in her throat, and tiny beads of sweat start to form on her forehead from the possible disasters that could occur.

Jake nodded, oblivious to the fact Miley was very uncomfortable and nervous with the idea. "Yeah, my parents. Who else's parents do you think I would want to introduce you to," He said, playfully rolling his eyes at her.

"What if your parents don't like me, Jake," She asked quietly.

"Why wouldn't they? They just like to see me happy," Jake stated. "So, how about tomorrow? At 5 o'clock?" Jake suggested.

Miley nodded unconsciously, still wrapped up in her thoughts of the worse case scenario.

--

"Now I don't want ya in any room with that boy alone!" Miley's dad lectured, as he turned into Jake's neighborhood.

Miley rolled her eyes slightly at her dad's over protectiveness. "Yes daddy," She replied in a drone voice.

"Now what's this boy's address?" He asked, casting looks at the average, normal mansions in the area.

Miley looked down at the text message Jake sent her earlier with his address, "100…Ryan Circle". Miley shook her head. Leave it to Jake to have a house on a street involving his name.

"I think I see Ryan Circle, seems to be in a cul-de-s—" Robby Ray cut off his sentence and the car jolted with a sudden stop.

Miley looked up from her phone to see what the matter was, and her jaw dropped. The whole cul-de-sac was part of Jake's property. His five-storied house sat nicely on top of a green patched hill that was pretty high. His driveway seemed to be a mile long, and the whole place was gated in.

"I think we found it," Miley stated plainly to her dad. She looked over, and saw him nod, with his mouth still agar.

He slowly pulled to the front gates, where a monitor at the side crackled. A voice came over the speaker. "Do you have an appointment?"

"I'm just drivin' my daughter Miley Stewart to see Jake Ryan," Robby Ray told the speaker, his country accent touching his words.

"Drive through," the voice said, and with a sudden buzz the gates began to open.

He began to drive slowly up the steep hill. "This boy must be making a heck load of money," Miley's dad commented as he looked at his surroundings. The nicely even mowed grass, the exquisite landscaping, and the endless festivities was a lot to intake.

They finally reached the top of the hill where it was now flat, and where the house stood. The drive way went circular, and in the middle stood a fountain where a statue of Jake himself stood spurting water from his mouth. "Yeah…_too_ much money I think," Miley added, as she eyed the fountain.

Miley unbuckled herself, and got out of the car.

"Sure you won't get lost in there darling?" Her father asked, through the window of the car.

"I'll be fine, daddy," She assured him. "I'll call you when I'm ready to go home." Robby Ray nodded, and slowly drove off.

Exhaling a short breath, she mustered enough to walk up to the massive front door, and ring the door bell.

She heard the chime echo through the house, and pair of foot steps come to the door. Miley quickly smoothed down her clothes, and ruffled her hair slightly. The door opened and Miley plastered a wide smile for…a bald headed guy in a black and white suit, who she assumed was the butler.

"Come in," He announced, stepping aside for Miley to join him in the foyer. "I assume you are here for Mr. Jake Ryan?" He asked when he safely shut the front door.

Miley nodded, "Yes, I'm his girlfriend."

His eyes widened a bit before going back to normal, "I didn't know he had a new one, but I shall go fetch him for you." The butler left, and Miley began to take in her surroundings.

The walls before her were nearly all _mirror_! She began to think maybe she was being _punk'd_, but in the pit of her stomach she knew this had to be real.

Right up Jake's alley.

"Miley!" Jake said coming out from a corner of the house, with a wide smile and holding his arms up so he could hug her. They embraced for a mere moment and he kissed her lightly on the cheek.

"Welcome to my house!" He said, raising his eyebrows up and down. "What do you think?" He asked.

"It's…very…big?" Miley stated, not sure what else to say.

"I know, right? I've been trying to get _Cribs_ here, but they said it would be complicated or something, anyway…ready to… _meet the parents_?" He said nudging Miley in her side with his elbow.

"Sure," Miley replied, the nerves from yesterday suddenly coming back.

"Mother! Father! Miley is here!" He shouted, and soon you heard the sound of light foot steps coming down the spiral staircase.

Down came Mr. and Mrs. Ryan, wearing _huge_ smiles, and even brighter clothes. You could already tell they would be perky.

"Hello, I'm Donald Ryan," Mr. Ryan greeted himself, his voice one of a salesman. He came over to Miley and hugged her in a friend like manner.

Stepping aside, Mrs. Ryan came up and imitated her husband's actions. "I'm Veronica Ryan, nice to meet you!" She exclaimed in a very high pitched voice.

"Let's settle in the living room," Mr. Ryan suggested, and they all walked over to a room off to the right side of the house.

Seeing more of the house, Miley noted that the mirror walls seemed to continue.

Jake's parents sat down on the love seat, as Miley and Jake sat on the regular couch that was adjacent to it.

"Miley—what a lovely name—how are you enjoying the house?" Mr. Ryan asked.

"Oh, it's very nice and…mirror-y…" Miley answered, glancing around at the mirror walls.

"Oh yes, you get used to them," Mr. Ryan shared, as the rest of the Ryan family nodded in agreement.

"May I ask, why do you need so many?" Miley asked.

The whole Ryan clan began laughing, but when they realized she was serious, they stopped suddenly. "Well, just look at us!" Jake exclaimed, flashing his pearly whites into the mirror closet to him.

Miley nodded, as if understanding their reasoning, but still not quite grasping it.

"So Miley, you hungry or thirsty?" Mrs. Ryan wondered politely.

"No thank-you," Miley replied, trying to get more comfortable in her seat. She picked up a pillow that was on the couch, to move it out of the way, only to see Jake's face plastered on it.

Jake noticed her gaze, "I know…" he said pausing, "You probably want one too," He said shaking his head silly. "They aren't out yet, but since you're special I'll make sure to get you one on your way out tonight."

He winked at Miley, who raised her eyebrows in disbelief. She looked over at his parents and saw that they looked more awestricken by their son then Lilly was when he first starting attending Seaview.

"Isn't that just _romantic_, Donald?" Mrs. Ryan cried out, looking at Miley and Jake adoringly.

Mr. Ryan draped his one arm over the shoulders of Mrs. Ryan, "Ah, yes! I remember when I was the _famous_ actor and you were the _lucky_ fan," He responded, looking smug but favorably at his wife.

They met in a brief kiss, before being interrupted by Jake shouting, "Mother! Father!"

"Oh Leslie, stop that yelling!"

"Mother!" Jake shrieked, eyes beginning to bulge.

His parents briefly laughed, "He hates it when we call him Leslie, but he should be _perfectly_ happy with his name since it was his great-grand-ma's."

Miley bit her lip, in an effort to prevent herself from laughing. She side glanced over at Jake who was clearly furious with his parents at the moment.

"I'm going to give Miley a tour of the house now," Jake declared, grabbing her hand and yanking her off the couch in a swift motion.

He pulled Miley out of site from his parents before turning abruptly to her, "Sorry about that… Celebrity parents can be _so embarrassing_ sometimes!" He said rolling his eyes, before flashing his million-dollar-smile toward her.

She couldn't help but smile back.

"So where should we start?" Jake asked.

"How about your room," Miley suggested, very eager to see what it would be like.

"Which one?" Jake asked, smiling widely.

"How many do ya have?" Miley asked with her accent thick.

"5," Jake stated simply, but boasting.

"Boyfriend named after great grandma, say what?" Miley asked, taken back a bit.

"What?" Jake asked, dumbfounded.

"Sweet Niblets!" Miley muttered as she hit herself lightly on the forehead. "Why do you have some many dang rooms?"

"Oh! One for every level, silly!" He said, jabbing her lightly in the side, "We're even thinking about putting one on the roof!"

"Why would you do that?"

"Well, wouldn't it be like awesome to sleep outside! It would be like having a sky light window_ without_ the window!"

"What would you do it rained though?" Miley questioned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That's why I would use a water bed," He told Miley, thinking her question was a bit dumb.

"You do know what a water bed is, right?" She questioned further.

"Of course I do," He stated proudly, "… it's like a pool, right?"

Miley buried her head in her hands, "Something like that…"

"Anyway, which room?"

"What's different from each room?" Miley wondered.

"Nothing."

"Then what makes you choose which one to sleep in every night?" Miley asked him.

"Well certain days I'll want to sleep on the 5th floor, other days the 2nd floor. It's kinda like that 3 little pig story!"

"How so?" Miley asked, looking at her boyfriend curiously, eyebrows raised.

"Like the rooms are supposed to symbolize the bowls of that cereal stuff, except there are 5 instead of 3."

"Don't you mean _The Three Bears_?" Miley suggested.

"Huh?" Jake expressed, his face scrunched up in confusion.

"Never mind…continue?"

"Right, so the rooms are like the cereal, and I'm like Red Riding Hood. This room would be too cold, that one too hot, but one room will eventually be the 'just right' room for the night!"

"Riiiight!" Miley said, faking a smile, while giving him a thumbs up.

Jake smiled proudly. "Plus, no bad wolf is coming to get me!" He said pounding his chest.

"Right, cause he's _really_ going to blow down this house."

"What? You lost me."

Miley sighed, "Never mind, so let's just see the first floor bedroom since we're on this floor."

"Okie dokey!" Jake exclaimed, taking Miley's hand to guide her to the room.

--

Jake stopped at two white French doors that had the letter 'J' on one door, and 'R' on the other.

He swiftly opened the door wide, and stepped inside, dragging Miley along aside him.

His floors were just regular hardwood floors. In the dead center of the room laid his circular bed, where his comforter was him posing his zombie slayer pose, with his famous quote plastered among it as well. His pillows…were the many faces of Jake, literally.

Dangling above the bed was a medium sized chandelier that illuminated the whole room.

There were numerous couches spread around the room. A huge built in plasma TV, and along the sides were DVD's of everything single thing Jake had appeared in.

In the one corner of the room a little office was located. A vast desk, with the top of the line technology equipment placed.

Last but not least though, "More mirrors," Miley mumbled.

"Isn't it just so cool though! It's like having a twin or something," Jake said, and walked up to one of the walls and waved to himself.

"So cool…" Miley copied, but without any enthusiasm at all. "Is there a room in this house _without_ mirrors?"

"Well of course, it's actually my favorite room!" Jake replied, his eyes lighting up in pure excitement. "Come on," He told Miley, as he grabbed her hand and pulled her through the long, vast hallways of his house, until they reached the elevator.

"Elevator?"

"The room is all the way on the 5th floor," Jake stated, stepping into the steel cubicle.

Miley stepped in as well, and noticed that the noise being overheard in the elevator wasn't the regular, boring elevator music. But then again, this wasn't a regular, boring house. The music playing happened to be the music used in all of Jake's movies.

"Shoot me now," Miley whispered underneath one of the ballads used in _Teen Bigfoot_. She was taking the stairs down.

Finally the elevator came to a stop and Miley was the first to step off.

"Excited, huh?" Jake asked, while walking down a narrow hallway. Miley followed.

He stopped at a door that looked like any ordinary door, almost just like a closet door, if it wasn't for the painted star on it.

"Ready?" Jake asked, building the momentum. Miley nodded.

Jake twisted the door knob slowly, and when it opened it seemed like a stream of angels were singing, "Laaaaaaaaaaah!"

A heavier, lower voice then spoke, "Welcome…to the World of Jake Ryan!"

Miley stood frozen in the doorway. She must be dreaming.

"Isn't it so AWESOME!" Jake exclaimed then shut the door, and then reopened it again, "Laaaaaaaaaaah"

"Welcome… to the World of Jake Ryan!"

Jake was about to shut the door again, when Miley hand interfered, "That's enough," She said dryly.

"Well come on in!"

Miley walked in, and like Jake said, it was mirror less, but that didn't mean the walls weren't empty. Every inch of the walls were plastered with pictures of him! He didn't _need_ a mirror here!

He had plasma TV's built into the walls of each side of the room which played old interviews and movies, in Chronological order.

All his achievements, awards were stored around the room, as well as a lot of his merchandise.

"Wow, it's really…you."

"Well, it is the 'World of Jake Ryan'," He stated, "You're in one of these pictures though!" he exclaimed.

Miley's heart leaped, and she smiled brightly, "Where?!"

Jake motioned with his hand to follow him to the opposite side of the room where they were standing. "Right here," he said pointing to some small blurry person in the background that had brown hair.

Miley squinted her eyes, "Y-You sure that's me?" She asked.

"Of course it's you, silly!" He declared.

"I mean that could be anybody!" Miley stated, continuing to look at it, "I mean that could even be Oliver!"

Jake rolled his eyes, "Trust me, it's you."

"Anyway…let's see _actual_ props from all my movies!" Jake suggested, going to a closet in the room.

Miley flipped open her phone secretly and text her father, 'Get me!'

"Look Miley, it's the actual foot Teen Bigfoot wore!"

Miley opened her phone again, 'NOW!'

--

A crackle came from the corner of the room, "Master Ryan, ah Mister Stewart is here for his daughter?"

Jake went to the speaker and spoke, "She'll be right down." Jake turned to Miley a bit sad, "Just when it was getting fun…"

"Oh I know," Miley feigned sadness. "Well see-ya later Jake!" Miley said, and sprinted out of the room, trying to find her way through the huge maze of a house, to the stairs.

After 5 minutes of searching for the stairs and another 5 minutes to go down them, Miley ran out the front door that the butler was kindly holding.

"Just like the rest…" the Butler mumbled, as he shut the door quietly.

--

Miley jumped into the car, and buckled her seatbelt quickly, "GO!"

Robbie immediately stepped on the gas as he heard the alarm in his daughter's voice. When they reached midway down the driveway Robbie turned to his daughter, "So…how was it?"

"Interesting…" Miley replied.

"Is that all I'm gonna get?" Robbie asked, laughing slightly.

"Trust me," Miley said, "That's all you wanna know!"

**Eh, I didn't care for the second half of this story, but I hoped you enjoyed it anyways!**

**Review, and tell me how you liked it or hated it, or whatever. This was just something to do while procrastinating on my story 'Diner Girl' (If anyone has any suggestions for that story please let me know!) :D**


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